Saturday: 29th/58(flatted)
Sunday: 19th/53
Crowned Maine State Cyclocross Bronze Medalist
What a bummer weekend. So much planning and preparation to having good results here went largely for not. These 2 races marked the beginning of the 6-race New England Cyclocross Series. The way the series is set up, the top-15 finishers receive points and get call ups at the start. It’s already been made clear previously, how important it is to have a good start in a ‘cross race so a call-up is a huge advantage. Not only can you continue warming up while everyone else sits and waits to line up, you get a head start on the field. This is a prime example of “the rich get richer.” And so, with only the top-15 receiving points, it’s very difficult to rank at the end of the season. You could finish 16th all season, and not even be recognized as a series competitor because you didn’t earn any points. With 50+ guys in every race, I think that’s a little too elitist. But, of course I’m on the outside looking in right now and am not happy about it.On to the races. Both days saw glorious weather. Last year’s events were labeled as tractor pulls as they were total mudfests. This year, it was sunny, 50 degrees and mostly dry. Saturday I lined up near the front (thanks to the officials sticking to the registration order rule) and got off to a good start. I was top-15 right away. I wished I could have gone harder, but it seemed like I was red-lining it anyway. I was solidly in 14th with 1.5 laps to go when it happened: I went through the last mudhole of the loop and bottomed out on a hidden rock. About 100 yards later, the rear wheel became wobbly and then I knew: pinchflat. I had the fastest section of the course ahead of me which was good and bad: good because I could ride with the flat; bad because I couldn’t ride fast and would lose many positions. I pitted, changed the wheel and carried on. I reclaimed only 1 spot because mentally I was done, I knew I wasn’t top-15 so what was the point in finishing 29th or 28th? 29th was good enough for me and all that was left to do was bitch and moan about my tough luck.Sunday’s race turned into not just a physical, but now a mental battle. I now had to not only place top-15, but probably top-10 in an effort to bump one of the previous top-15 finishers out of the way to earn a call-up for the 3rd round of the series. Whether my body was up to the challenge was out of my control because the training was already in place and couldn’t be changed. But the mind, that’s what I had to keep focused.The race started out well. I was top-20ish going into the woods and I just kept the hammer down and made several unconventional, border-line rude passes in the technical sections to gain every spot I could. That worked well for the first half of the lap. But the 2nd half was wide open and had more climbing than descending. Normally this would cater to my strengths, but not today for some reason. I lost some of the spots I had gained, but was still comfortably in the top-15 and I was planning to settle in and wait for my legs and energy to come to me. Unfortunately, they never did. Things got spread out on the 2nd lap and I found myself dangling off the back of a group that represented the 13th to 18th positions. Here’s when my mental strength went weak on me. Each lap, I would bridge the gap and be right with them in the technical sections, but once the trail went uphill, I would lose contact. My strategy was to race my own race in the open section and keep catching up in the rough stuff. Well, slowly but surely, the group would pull further and further away each lap forcing me to ride in no-man’s land and fight the doubting demons that were yelling in my head: “Call it a day, it’s not worth it.” “Might as well bag the series because you’re going to be too far behind in points.” My mind was killing me! It should have been telling me to change my strategy, go as hard as I can on the uphills, catch back up and recover in the slower technical areas, I have nothing to lose! What an ass I was. So, I slowly faded and ended up getting caught by another rider relegating me to an empty 19th place.
I'm back there somewhere!
The dim light on the day was that I was the 3rd finisher from Maine so I am the Masters 35+ Maine State Cyclocross Bronze medalist. Big deal, last year I won the gold.I’m obviously still bitter about the results, but I have no one to blame but myself. Regardless of whether I could have gone harder or not is irrelevant, I didn’t even try. I never dug deep to see if I had it in me to accelerate. Mind over muscle was my big mistake. Now the questions raised are: will I learn from my mistakes? Will I take the lessons learned and use them to succeed in the next event? Impossible to say right now, only time will tell. Luckily, the next race is 3 weeks away so I have ample opportunity to dwell/reflect upon and analyze the experience and hopefully put it to good use.One thing is for certain, I’ve lost touch with why I’m out there riding and racing. At the core, it’s supposed to be for fun and in the memory of Al; doing something he would admire and appreciate. Ironically, I haven’t acknowledged him at my starts as I traditionally do and the last 4 races have been some of my poorest and unluckiest performances. It’s also supposed to be a family outing when possible, and it’s just become too easy for them to stay home instead.I hope this period between races proves productive, mentally.
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